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Boris the chimp in election prediction shocker

By 6th May 2015No Comments

Statisticians predict that over a quarter of the UK electorate are still undecided as to who to vote for in this Thursday’s General Election despite hours of coverage being devoted to the key parties election pledges in recent weeks.

Indecisiveness is not something that usually effects Boris, a rescued chimp, currently being rehabilitated at Arusha Zoo.

Boris, who was rescued as a baby from animal traffickers in 2011, is something of a celebrity, possessing an uncanny knack for predicting results. In both the 2013 election in Kenya and the 2014 World Cup in Brazil, Boris has come out on top.

Despite his name suggesting an allegiance to the Tories, Boris was not to be swayed this week by hours of debate and interviews featuring all the leaders from David Cameron to Nigel Farage, which were played over a tannoy into his enclosure at Arusha Zoo, “Boris slept through most of it, and grimaced a lot,” reported his keeper, something many of us here in the UK can relate to.

Boris, clearly irritated by the whole long and drawn-out process shocked onlookers by approaching the five boxes placed within his enclosure and rather than indicating his preference in the usual way, by snacking on green apple slices located beneath the relevant party logo, instead opted to defecate. His keeper suggested Boris was suffering from severe indigestion.

Boris was unavailable for comment.

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